Tuckahoe Village Departments

TUCKAHOE TALK
With Mayor John Fitzpatrick

Does Father Know Best?

June, 2008

I hope you will please indulge me a story not about our Village or even village affairs. I thought instead I would relay a narrative in honor of Father’s Day. It starts with Camille DiSalvo, the Deputy Clerk of the Village of Tuckahoe. In addition to her clerkly duties, she answers the Mayor’s phone line and schedules all my meetings with the public, including my huge new wedding schedule. One day recently she handed me a message from Westchester Health and Life Magazine. I asked what they wanted, and she informed me that they wanted to use me in an article they were writing. Since I had never heard of Westchester Health and Life Magazine, my curiosity was piqued. Admittedly, the words “health” and “life” left me a little suspicious. You see, I’m not that healthy. I am not sick mind you; I’m just not healthy. I smoke, which is a horrific habit. I will have you know that I have shaken it a couple of times, but ultimately I go back. Anyway, with this always on my mind, I speculated that perhaps I had been voted the unhealthiest Mayor in Westchester. A little bit of me was hoping that maybe it was just a mistake or joke. In my mind a vision formed of me being “outed” as one of the non-health conscious minority. I decided to call and get to the bottom of this mystery.

A woman identified herself as a reporter and declared that she was in fact looking to use me in an article she was writing. The magazine wanted a Westchester Mayor and they thought I might fit the bill after reading Tuckahoe’s website postings of these very articles. I then found out that I only had to answer one question. My answer would be included with those of all the other participants in the article, which was set for a June release. This all seemed relatively easy and painless until she posed the question, “What was the best advice your father gave you?” She quickly told me I didn’t have to answer right away. In fact, she wanted me to think about it for a couple of days and then call back. She also inquired if my dad was alive. Upon hearing he was indeed alive she declared that he and I would also have to be available for a photo-shoot. Finally, she added that she would like to know how this advice had aided me in being a Mayor. After hanging up, the magnitude of what I had just agreed to sank in. Since my father, whom I love dearly, is more the quiet grouchy type, nothing regarding memorable advice popped into my head. I decided to take my time and not rush this. I wasn’t sure which was going to be harder: remembering some pearl of wisdom, or convincing him to leave Brooklyn to come to Tuckahoe for the picture.

That evening I attended the wake of one of the Eastchester Irish-American Social Club’s member’s, Frank McCluskey. Since Frank had been such an active member, and so well loved by many in our town, the line to pay one’s respect was fittingly around the block. After such a solemn ceremony it is not unheard of for Irish people to have a drink to toast their missing friend and sing a few songs. I attended just such a gathering following Frank’s wake. After many stories I relayed the request of the reporter to several club members whom I consider friends, mostly to take a sampling of the advice their own fathers had imparted. It was soon obvious that these members with whom I share a certain ethnicity were struggling just as hard as I was to recall any unforgettable fatherly advice. Since most of us are fathers ourselves, we began to realize that true to form we had, possibly like our fathers before us, not imparted any memorable words of advice to our own children. Over the next day I polled other people and, amusingly, most were unable to recall any memorable advice - that is except for one. Jeff Zuckerman’s father, Arthur, apparently left him with this simple gem, “Keep your overhead low”. This tidbit is indeed sound advice and easy to remember. I am certain that there are plenty of fathers who give good advice. What disturbed me, however, was how few could remember a prized nugget.

When I called my dad he shockingly agreed right away to come and be part of the article. Before hanging up he jokingly asked me what advice he had given? I told him the thing I can most recall him saying through my life was “BE QUIET AND LISTEN”. This is unquestionably relevant advice for politicians and Mayors. Often one cannot get this group to hear a complaint or a problem because they are so busy telling us about how great they are or how much they are doing for us. So “Be quiet and listen” was ultimately the advice I listed as his best. In truth, this wasn’t ever delivered in the form of advice, but more in the form of a directive. Regardless, I look at my father as the type of advisor who has led by example. Biologically speaking we all have a father. Whether they are gone now, still with you, somebody you never knew, somebody you can’t stand, somebody you miss, or somebody you love dearly, without them we wouldn’t be here. So, in honor of all the Fathers who are trying to do the right thing everyday, I wish them a Happy Fathers Day. I still haven’t been able to come up with any sound advice for my own four children. But as my father left the photo-shoot he said, “I think the best advice I ever gave you was ‘Listen to your mother’!”