TUCKAHOE TALK
With Mayor John Fitzpatrick

September, 2007

Mayor John Fitzpatrick
The Things I’ve Learned.


My first six months as Mayor have nearly come to a conclusion. I would like to give a brief synopsis of these months in office where every day has been a learning process. With that in mind I have prepared a list of a few observations from my time on the job. These are meant to be informational as well as entertaining.

  1. Everyone loves trees.
    That is . . . as long as the tree is not near their property or touching their property, dropping leaves, berries or nuts on their property, or can be smelled from their property. If it falls into any of the aforementioned criteria, chances are I should order it cut down immediately and smashed into pulp, because "it is only one tree anyway" and its demise will not make much of a difference.
  2. Everyone is in favor of progress.
    That is . . . provided nothing changes. Progress is also encouraged on the opposite side of the Village from where any particular resident resides, and never on their block because their block is perfect (except for maybe a tree.)
  3. Residents own the parking spot in front of their home.
    This one, I must confess, I was already aware of because my own wife, Kate, suffers from this delusion. I just wasn’t prepared to find so many others suffering. Regarding reasoning, they often cite the book of unwritten rules.
  4. "I have been doing that for thirty years".
    When businesses, shops or people are told to fix some infraction of our codes, their first response is merely an incredulous look, followed by a statement of the amount of time this has gone unchecked. Apparently, some believe past practice supercedes the law.
  5. "I voted for you"
    Often this is genuine; occasionally it is a prelude to a resident presenting an unreasonable request. Based on my conversations on the street, I am finding the number of people who have now voted for me fast approaching staggering proportions. I call this the “Woodstock Effect” after the 5 million that claim to have been there, while only 350,000 actually sat in the mud.
  6. There is not enough parking for the businesses.
    While strolling the business district I often encounter this sentiment from area business people. Amusingly, some proprietors who engage me in conversation are forced to excuse themselves to feed the meter for their car, which is parked in front of their establishment. Upon returning, they point out I need to fix the parking situation before they are out of business.
  7. The garbage rules are self-explanatory.
    According to our Department of Sanitation, it is the residents' faults that they are receiving tickets or warnings for placing out improper trash on the wrong days. It is not due to the fact that the schedule, especially on Holiday weeks, may quite possibly be an unbreakable Da Vinci code.